Did social media steal a part of our lives?
This week I was inspired by a reflection from Ana Merlino, and I decided to open a conversation about something I have been thinking about for a long time. I have a feeling I am not the only one who wonders whether social media has quietly stolen a small but meaningful part of our lives.
Recently, I found myself looking through old photographs from the 1980s and 1990s. Then I came across a video from the 18th birthday celebration of a close friend in 1996.
The moment I pressed play, something unexpected happened.
Not only did memories come flooding back, but I could remember that entire night almost as if I were living it again. The conversations, the laughter, the people who were there, the music, and even some of the small details that seemed insignificant at the time. It also reminded me of countless other moments spent with my group of friends.
Back then, life worked differently.
We didn't carry mobile phones in our pockets. We didn't send messages every few minutes to coordinate our whereabouts. We simply made plans.
The day before, or at the end of our last meeting, we would agree on a place and a time. Then everyone showed up. Somehow, it worked and we were all there.
If a friend lived nearby, we might stop by their house on the way. Sometimes we would knock on someone's door just because we felt like hanging out. There was no need to announce our arrival, send a text, or check whether it was convenient. We simply dropped by and connected
When we met, we were fully present. We talked. We laughed. We shared stories. We debated ideas. We sat together for hours doing absolutely nothing special, yet those moments became some of the most memorable parts of our lives.
Today, things feel different. When friends gather, phones are often present before conversations begin. Social media frequently becomes the centre of attention.
"Have you seen this video?"
"Did you hear about this trend?"
"Look at this post."
"Ask AI."
Our conversations increasingly revolve around what happened online rather than what is happening in front of us.
Even when we are physically together, part of our attention is somewhere else. We are neve fully present.
What shockes me most is that we have never been more connected, yet many people feel more disconnected than ever. We have instant access to hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people, but genuine connection often feels harder to find or even inexistance.
And of course social media has brought many benefits into our lives. It allows us to stay in touch across continents, reconnect with old friends, learn new things, and share experiences in ways that were impossible before. This isn't a post about rejecting technology, but a reflection about balance.
Somewhere along the way, many of us stopped simply experiencing moments and started documenting them. We became more focused on capturing life than living it. More concerned with sharing experiences than fully feeling them. I wonder sometimes whether the reason those memories from 1996 feel so vivid is because we were completely immersed in them. There were no notifications competing for our attention. No pressure to post updates. No endless stream of content waiting for us. There was only the moment itself.
Perhaps what I miss most is not the absence of technology but the presence of people. The feeling that when someone was with you, they were truly with you. And maybe the real question isn't whether social media has stolen part of our lives, but is whether we are willing to take some of it back.
What would happen if we spent more time looking at each other than at our screens? If we left our phones in our pockets during dinner? If we visited a friend instead of sending a message? If we allowed ourselves to be bored, present, and available for genuine conversation?
I don't have the answers, but I do know that watching that old video reminded me of something valuable: some of the best moments of our lives were never posted online. They are in my memory.
What do you think?
Has social media improved your relationships, or do you feel it has changed them for the worse?
What do you miss most about life before social media?
“A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires—that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but remains still—can alone achieve peace.”